Happy Murder Party
by MahNati
Summary: Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first (and hopefully not the last) edition of Happy Murder Party! Prepare your hearts as you watch your favorite Assist Trophies deceive, betray and above all murder each other in front of various cameras as they try to live with and tolerate each other. Just what does fate has in store for these Assist Trophies? Who knows? I sure don't.
1. On how Crazy Hand needs better hobbies

**So yeah, I'm back... I guess. Honestly I don't have a lot of excuses for simply vanishing and not updating "Loves Me Not" and "In our own little world" in months, except that I didn't feel motivated and that the second chapter of "Loves Me Not" was starting to become incredibly melodramatic, so I need to figure it out a a way to tone down the melodrama.**

 **Anyway, about this story, believe it or not, I have been planning on writing this one for a very long time, but I only got the courage to upload it now for reasons. This was based on an original story of mine (that probably won't ever be finished), except the tone here is a more humorous one than the original story had. This is going to be a very Assist Trophy-centric fic, where the Assist Trophies are just clones of the original characters, so I can do whatever I want with them without fear of hurting canon.**

* * *

It was by the time Crazy Hand crashed into the small, crowded auditorium that the Assist Trophies knew they would be forced in for a wild ride. Jeff just let out a sigh and sunk in his red velvety seat as the large, disembodied hand cackled, before making a sudden shift in attitude and gained a more composed stand.

"Good evening, my fellow Assist Trophies," he greeted, his voice rather collected. "How are you in this fine day?"

Crazy earned a few groans of displeasure and protest from the people there, mostly from those who were still new to the whole Assist Trophy business. As for Jeff, being already a veteran, all he did was wonder what kind of shenanigans Crazy Hand planned on throwing them in. That wasn't to say he didn't mind being called an object, oh no. He simply got used to it. Just like he got used to being tossed around in Crazy Hand's schemes.

Such was the life he was born to have in the universe of Smash, but it wasn't as if he didn't have his moments of fun and glory in the battlefield. He could very well leave once this tournament was over, but the paycheck compensated the lack of agency he was forced to adopt in the battlefield, so he just decided to stick around until he had a better plan for his future.

"He he he ha ha HA HA!"

Crazy Hand really needed to stop giggling, though. He wasn't being paid enough to just watch him have a laughing fit in front of everyone in the auditorium.

"I'm going straight to the point with ya'll," the glove hand said after catching his breath. "You know how tomorrow we'll start _No Items, Omega Form Only_ month?"

Again the people who he called Assist Trophies groaned. _No Items, Omega Form Only_ was a month that Master Hand, head master of the tournament they had been participating in as assistants to its competitors, as well as Crazy Hand's older twin, had decided to create in order to see how well the fighters were able to hold on their own and not depend on the chaos and opportunities the items that were thrown at random in the arena would give. That would mean no bombs, no beam swords, no baseball bats, among many other items, were allowed to spawn on stage.

And, of course, no Assist Trophies as well.

Master Hand had basically given a forced one month vacation for all the people and creatures there in auditorium. Could that month be any worse?

"Well, since you're not going anywhere this month, I've decided to make a super fun game for some of you to enjoy and pass the time!"

Of course it could. Why would they think any differently?

"U-Um… What game?" asked Isabelle from her seat in the front roll.

"Aww, I'm so glad to see you're interested," if Crazy had a face, it definitely would be smiling. "I don't have a name for it yet, but I'm sure ya'll gonna have a blast when I explain what it is."

"Crazy, I know you want to have fun, but your ideas are usually not that good," Saki, who sat three chairs behind Isabelle, said. "Last time you decided to have fun on a grand scale, you made the Smashers perform in a musical."

"Sooooo?"

"Crazy, you gave the leading role to Link!" Saki exclaimed. "Link's a mute! We had to get Ike to dub him and perform a duet with himself because they had a number together!"

"Both are superb actors and Ike has a wonderful husky voice and, ah, he's so dreamy. If it were for me, he would have dubbed everyone," he raised his index finger. "But that's not the point here. The point is that I want to play a game and you have to obey me, because I'm in charge of the items and you guys are items, so that means I'm in charge of you and you have to follow my orders."

"What kind of game will you make us play?" Lakitu asked, fearing already for his dignity. Unlike most of the other Assist Trophies, he was cozily floating on his cloud above everyone else. He could fly away and escape, but he would not risk getting caught and get scolded by their clueless manager.

"Well, only a fraction of you can play it and it will be decided through lottery. Basically, I'm just gonna get ten lucky Assist Trophies and throw them in a large house with lots of rooms for you to spend the whole month in. The house will have surveillance cameras hanging around every corner and room possible, so we, people from the outside, can keep a close eye on what you're doing. The only exception being the bathrooms, because ew, who would want to watch that, right?"

"What, so you're going to throw us in a reality show?" Lakitu asked, now a little more interested.

"No, I'm going to throw you in a situation where you have to murder each other!"

There was a dreadful silence that filled the small auditorium, with none of the Assist Trophies knowing the exact reaction for that statement. Shock? Anger? Fear? Perhaps indignation? Maybe all of them combined, they didn't know what to feel first. But in one thing they could all unconsciously agree: Crazy Hand had completely lost it. In any other situation that would be kind of funny, considering they were talking about a guy whose name was literally "crazy", if it weren't for the fact that he appeared to be completely serious about wanting them to kill each other.

"You cannot be serious!" yelled Lyn as she got up from her seat. "We are not going to murder one another in cold blood just because you want us to! We are not some pawns for you to use and abuse for your own sick amusement!"

"Lyn."

"What?"

"Lyyyyn."

"What is it?"

"Lyn, why are you sooo boring? I should have gotten rid of you sooner."

"Like you did with Isaac?" the swordswoman gritted her teeth.

She was stopped by Jeff grabbing her wrist, as if saying that arguing with him was useless. Lyn scoffed in response, but sat back on her chair and sulked.

"For anyone wondering, no, when I say murder each other, I don't mean kill KILL each other. I mean, I still expect bloodshed and violence, but you're not going to die for real, that would be stupid. Once your heart stops beating, your corpse will be teleported back to this hotel and you'll be as good as new."

"That's still not reassuring..." Isabelle whimpered.

"I already asked big bro about this and he said it was a-okay, as long as you all ended up alive, healthy and without any major injuries, and I intend to keep my promise, because I love you guys and I don't want you to die when you're killed," the sincerity in his voice showed no malice at all. That was probably what frightened the Assist Trophies the most. "Except Isaac. That guy has always annoyed me. At least he was fired and good riddance."

"How can Master Hand be fine with this?" Lyn hung her head in despair. "How can he be alright with Crazy Hand using us as tools?"

"Aren't we tools in his eyes?"

"He's wrong! We are assistants, not rag dolls!"

"And to make you people not feel sad and give you more reason to survive besides not wanting to suffer any ouchies, I'm going to give this competition's winner the amazing price of five hundred bucks!"

Of course the mention of money would have perked the interest of the more greedy souls. Though, Jeff would be lying if he said he didn't stop to listen too.

"I'm in!" Samurai Goroh beamed from his seat. "Where do I sign?!"

"Patience, my dear Goroh. As I said, the participants will be chosen through lottery," Crazy explained while he took a small black box out of thin air. "I have aaaaall your names in tiny papers inside this tiny box. I take one and whoever name is written in it will be in the game. Aaaah, Isabelle, can you come over here and help me?"

"Uh, okay," the little shih-tzu got down from her seat and walked towards the front stage.

Isabelle stood by Crazy Hand's side, nervously fidgeting her tiny paws. One look at her and it was pretty easy to tell that she would gladly run away from that place if the opportunity showed up. Crazy placed the box on the ground and carefully took out a piece of paper.

"Can you read the name for me, dear?" the hand showed her the paper.

She shakily took it from him and read the name in a meek voice: "M-Midna..."

"What was that? Say it with gusto!"

"Midna!" she shouted in a startle.

"Dammit!" Midna yelled, slamming the metallic armchair with her puny fists.

"Get over here!"

The imp grumbled something no one could understand and teleported herself to the front stage, shooting Isabelle a cold glare as she stood by her side.

"This will be good," Crazy took another piece of paper. "Next!"

"Phosphora."

"Oh, you've GOT to be kidding me!" Phosphora shouted, furiously biting her polished thumbnail.

"Sucks to be you, blondie," Magnus, who was seated at her left, laughed.

"I hope you get picked so I can kill you first," she snarled and then lazily flew towards the stage.

"We'll see about that!"

That was so not how she wanted to spend her off month! Phosphora could barely stand the idea of being restricted to float around only at the hotel, but being locked up inside a big house was even worse for a free spirit like her. That was SO not fair!

"Such a shame to have such a pretty girl having to go through this… Ha, ha, who am I even kidding? Great to have you here, Phosphora!" Crazy beamed. "Next Assist, please!"

Isabelle's face grew an expression of panic once she read the next Assist's name and for a good reason.

"N-No..."

"What is it?"

"It's me," she whimpered, small tears forming in the corner of her eyes.

"Aw shucks, this is bad," Crazy waved his fingers. "Don't cry, love! I don't like seeing you like this! Aw, you're not even a fighter… Er, what should I do..."

"Riki volunteers to go in Belle's place," the Heropon jumped up and down from his seat, waving his two long ears to call for the hand's attention.

"Are you sure about that? There's no turning back."

"Riki, sit down," Dunban scolded and tried to grab one of his frantic ears.

"Riki is sure! Riki no want to see Belle sad, so Riki take Belle's place!"

"Well, Isabelle can always be my assistant," Crazy muttered before pointing his index finger at Riki. "Alright then, we have a deal! Come over here, Riki! Just keep in mind I'm making an exception for you, I don't wanna see any more Assist Trophies offering to replace spots."

Riki bounced his way towards the stage and earned a small thank you from the still teary-eyed Isabelle. Dunban let out a huge and irritated sigh, wondering why Riki decided to have one of his rare moments of selflessness just now.

"Next."

"Waluigi."

A loud and obnoxious laugh could be heard at the very end of the auditorium. "Wah ha ha! Finally, it's Waluigi time!" exclaimed the scrawny, tall man as he got up from his seat and strode towards the front stage.

Yeah, Waluigi definitely was in it for the money. While not exactly a villain, or even an anti-villain per say, he was well-known among the people there for his greed, so it came to no surprise that the purple capped man was thrilled with the idea of gaining money if he ever won the game he was being thrown in.

"I'm glad to see someone's excited! Next one!"

"Lyn."

"This must be some curse. It can't be a coincidence," Lyn muttered under her breath.

"Ha ha, it's funny 'cos you've been complaining the most!" the hand cackled, falling on the ground for a moment and twitching his body as he continued to laugh. "I was kind of hoping you would have been picked!"

"I don't doubt you."

"You're boring, but I love you, Lyn. I hope you have the time of your life!"

"Did you rig this lottery?" she asked.

"Nope! If it was rigged, Isabelle never would have been picked."

"Wouldn't it have been better if you didn't include her name in the list to begin with?" Midna commented.

"Oops, totally forgot I could have done that."

"Oh, for the love of the gods," Lyn pressed the bridge of her nose in annoyance. There was no way Crazy could have rigged the lottery, it was just her awful luck.

Jeff whispered good luck to her, who nodded in return and walked to the front stage with her head up high and her hand firmly gripping the hilt of her sword. While she wanted by no means to start a fight, doing that little gesture usually helped her keep her cool.

"This roster is getting pretty interesting. Next one, if you may."

"Dil… Uh, Dild..." Isabelle squinted her eyes. "Ah, Dillon!"

"Excellent."

"There's no way this typo was accidental," she whispered.

There were a few snickers here and there, but the aforementioned armadillo paid no attention, for he was already too occupied cursing Crazy Hand for him getting picked. No money in the world could compensate the disrespect their boss was giving them.

"Okay, we have seven already. Three more and we're good to go!" Crazy Hand said in glee once Dillon took his place by Waluigi's side. "Isabelle, next one."

"…Chrom?"

"Uh?!" Chrom shot up from his seat. "What's the meaning of this? I'm not an Assist Trophy!"

"Mye he he ha ha! I've included the assist fighters from Final Smashes and stage bosses! It was only fair!"

"Still..."

There was a sudden tension between the Final Smash assistants. All four Mega Men got visibly more nervous, while the gunmen that assisted the Duck Hunt trio murmured nervously between themselves. Only Dunban seemed to not get agitated in the slightest.

Chrom begrudgingly walked towards the stage.

"Ah, goody, we needed more handsome men in this house. Next!"

"Ridley."

There was a loud roar of joy as the enormous purple dragon leaped from the various seats he occupied, ready to take the stage, before Crazy Hand made a stop sign to him.

"Aaaaah, no, no, Ridley's too big, I don't want him," he said. "Isabelle, pick another one."

And just like that, Ridley was forced to quietly sit down and sulk. To think he was actually looking forward to this murder party…

Isabelle took out another piece of paper.

"Tingle."

"Kooloolim-pah! Hooray for me!"

Tingle got up from his seat and skipped his way through the stairs, towards the stage. Apparently the 35-year-old man had no issues with being picked. It probably had to do with the fact that he was almost as greedy as Waluigi and was actually interested in the prize. For some of the people there, having Tingle locked up in the house was pretty much a blessing, since he was known for being pretty obnoxious.

They just pitied the people who would have to deal with him for a whole month. Ridley, on the other hand, couldn't feel more insulted.

"Next one, if you may," Crazy said as Tingle got on stage.

"Jeff."

And it was then when that whole situation hit Jeff like a war hammer. The boy's eyes widened and his heartbeat started to race so much that he feared it would jump out of his throat. Oh, he didn't want to go! He didn't want any part in that masochistic game Crazy was forcing them to play. He had no chances of surviving, he was dead meat from the beginning. All the other Assists there had something that gave them an advantage. Incredible strength, skills, magic... What did he have? Sure, he had a vast arsenal of rockets and explosives, but he was pretty sure he would not be allowed to bring them with him. Sure, he had his high I.Q. and wits, but he doubted that would be of much use when Phosphora could kill him with a zap of lightning bolt.

At least he would be out of the game soon, he was sure of that. He didn't want to die though…

"Jeff, we still have one more Assist Trophy to announce! Get ya behind here right now!" Crazy snapped his fingers.

He would be out soon… He would be out soon… He was going to die, but he would be free soon…

Jeff shakily entered the stage and went to stand by Chrom's side. He received a sympathetic pat on the shoulder from the blue haired prince, but that didn't help in calming him down at all. That hand could be murdering him tomorrow!

"Geez, took you long enough," the hand waved dismissively. "Anyway, Isabelle dear, could you read the last contestant, please?"

Isabelle nodded and took the piece of paper in her paws.

"Ashley."

Nobody said a word as their eyes turned their attention towards the girl dressed in red that sat on the very left of the middle row, as if expecting to see a negative reaction from her. Ashley simply got up from her seat and walked silently towards the stage, her pitch black eyes not even bothering with making eye contact with the people in the auditorium. She had some dark aura that kept some of the people there on edge, not that she seemed to mind. Without any hesitation, she took her place by Jeff's side, who seemed visibly uncomfortable with the young witch's presence.

Ashley simply glanced at him, before turning her attention to their manager once more.

"And I guess that's all! Thank you so much for participating in this game!" Crazy Hand exclaimed in glee, twirling his fingers in excitement. "You have no idea how much this means to me! Everyone who is not important is dismissed. Shoo, shoo!"

The mumbled and quiet chats soon grew into louder conversation as the Assist Trophies that weren't chosen began to get up from their seats and leave, most of them relieved for not being picked, while others were actually disappointed that they couldn't participate and have the chance of winning five hundred bucks. The reluctant selected Assist Trophies (and Chrom) could only watch in envy their co-workers and friends leave the auditorium, free to do as they pleased without worrying about what Crazy Hand had in store for them.

Crazy just smiled at the Assist Trophies in the stage… not that they could see it.

"Are you all excited?" he asked. "Because, boy, I sure am!"

"Crazy, just get to the point," Midna grumbled. "Is it not enough that you're gonna lock us inside a house? The least you could do is tell us the rules nice and clear."

"Always straight to the point!" Crazy Hand exclaimed, shaking his index finger at them. "But I won't be explaining the rules today. For now, I just want you to go do whatever you have to do and have a good night of rest, because tomorrow… Tomorrow it's when the fun begins!"

Jeff could feel the color of his face getting paler and paler. Tomorrow couldn't arrive slow enough.

* * *

 **Ridley, you won't ever get your chance to shine.**

 **Ever.**


	2. Rules explained

**Thanks a lot for the reviews! By the way, feel free to ignore this and jump to the story if you want, but Crazy Hand's manner of speech and constant shifts in tone of voice was actually inspired by Zero III, a character from a little game called Virtue's Last Reward. If you're curious and not feeling lazing at all, go check it out, it's a wonderful game and he's a really fun character.**

* * *

Jeff never thought that his luck was that great. Sure, it wasn't the worst, but he has always thought that fate could be a little kinder to him every once in a while. Like, for example, he would really have appreciated if his name wasn't picked in that lottery. But at least he would have Lyn, one of his best friends as of late, by his side. But then she would suffer as well, so he didn't know if he should be extremely grateful or feel extremely sorry for her.

He let out a groan as he started to wake up. Today it was the day that he would start playing Crazy Hand's horrible murder game and, boy, did he not look forward to it. His only consolation was that he had no hopes of winning, so he was pretty sure he would be out of it in no time. Still, the idea of being being stabbed, choked or even zapped by lightning brought a chill down his spine in such a way that he didn't want to get out of his bed.

Unfortunately, the moment he realized he hasn't been sleeping in his own room made him jump out of the bed right away. He also noticed he was wearing the clothes he was wearing yesterday.

Yesterday?

Did he even go to sleep? He couldn't remember what he was doing after he left the auditorium…

"Augh, my head..." he complained, resting a hand over his forehead.

Did Crazy Hand just knock him out cold before he could leave the auditorium? That wouldn't be too absurd of an idea, considering all things. His answers were answered by the sight of a strange silver bracelet attached to his left wrist. There was also a flat disk with the Smash Bros symbol encrusted in it, but it didn't seem to be anything more than decoration. He passed a finger over the cold metal, wondering if there was any way to remove it. Unfortunately, it just didn't seem possible to remove it. For now, that is. Jeff would find a way to get rid of that blasted bracelet later.

"Okay, just keep calm," he told him self and took a deep breath. "You can get through this..."

Jeff was in no mood to go outside just yet, so he decided to take a better look of his room. He grabbed his square glasses that laid nicely on his white bed desk so he could see more clearly and began examining the place.

The first thing he noticed it was that the room had no windows at all. The only source of light came from the two lamps on the wall behind his bed. The only way the air circulated in his room was because of the big air vent that was located on the wall to his left. The room in itself was rather plain looking, with a wooden desk, a chair, a large wardrobe with double doors, a bed and the bed desk being the only furniture there. There was also a small television glued to the wall, but Jeff was pretty sure he wouldn't be using that at all (he couldn't even find the remote control anyway). The walls were painted in a light salmon pink, trying to make the place look warm and inviting, but failing miserably at that.

There were also two white doors, so Jeff assumed one of them led to the bathroom. But he didn't really have time to check it, since the TV just turned on, revealing a beaming Crazy Hand on the screen.

"Heeeey, nice to see that you're awake!" he said in a cheerful tone. "Anyway, this is a recorded message telling you to go meet your fellow Assist Trophies at the living room, where you'll receive more instructions. Okay? Okay, then, see you there!"

And just like that, the TV turned off.

Jeff let out a sigh. He'd better go to the living room and get this over with. There was a little map glued to the door that he assumed to be the exit, showing the way to the living room. Either Crazy underestimated his sense of direction or this house was as huge as a mansion. He honestly hoped it was the latter, because otherwise, he would have felt pretty insulted by the assumption.

Without any more delays, he grabbed the map and headed out for the living room, his heart racing faster with each step he took. The corridor was large and well illuminated, despite the lack of windows. Jeff wondered if he would ever get to see the light of day anytime soon, as he was starting to grow uneasy without knowing if it was day or night.

Where was this house located anyway?

From the worn out jade green wall paper, the old fashioned long rug and lamps that hung on the walls, Jeff could only assume it was an old mansion. But aside from the worn out wallpaper, he could also see everything was well conserved. He couldn't remember ever seeing an old mansion in any part of the city that he's been to, so he probably wouldn't know where it would be located anyway.

Thankfully, finding the living room wasn't all that hard and he arrived there in no time. He was surprised to see most of his fellow Assist Trophies already there, some resting on the cream colored couches, others just checking out the place. To Jeff's displeasure, the large glass doors that made up 1/3 of the walls were covered with plates of metal (titanium, probably), so there was still no way to know what was going on outside. There was a huge chandelier hanging from the ceiling that provided enough light to illuminate the living room, but he truly wished to see the sunlight instead.

Everything looked old fashioned, which only made the big plasma TV screen glued to one of the walls stick out like a sore thumb.

"Hello, Jeff," greeted an all familiar voice behind him.

"Hi, Lyn," he said as he turned around to greet his friend. "Did you sleep well?"

"Unfortunately, yes," Lyn said in a bitter tone. "Wouldn't have slept this well if Crazy Hand didn't forcefully put us to sleep, though."

"So you also can't remember leaving the auditorium, uh?"

"Crazy is… well, crazy, but he is not stupid. He knows one of us would have tried to do something against this horrible plan of his," the girl sighed. "I just hope that the people who weren't chosen are currently trying to figure it out a way to stop this madness."

Jeff really didn't have the heart to tell her he didn't think there was going to be an intervention from outside.

"Is everyone here already?" he asked instead.

"Um… no, I think Phosphora has yet to arrive," she said, double checking the occupants of the room. "I also cannot spot Riki anywhe- Oh, never mind, he's right there in the middle of the cushions."

If Jeff wasn't feeling so nervous, he would have laughed at how funny the sight of Riki being confused for a fluffy cushion was, especially with Chrom trying to sit where he was, only to be berated by the Nopon for not realizing there was someone there already. He couldn't recall ever seeing the prince's face become this red before.

All in all, everyone seemed to be getting along surprisingly well, the two sole exceptions being Chrom, who decided to rest against the wall and get lost in thought, and Ashley, who sat in alone in an armchair, reading one of the books from the pile at the center glass table.

"Ah, speak of the devil, there she is," Lyn commented as she spotted the girl with the electric blue scarf entering the room.

Phosphora walked in with a completely sour expression on her face, as if the slightest contact with her would trigger a negative reaction. Something about her was definitely off. Sure, it could be because Jeff couldn't recall a moment she wasn't smiling nicely or giving a cocky smirk, so to see her in such a sour mood felt weird to him, but Jeff was sure it was something else. What could it be, though?

He snapped out of his thoughts as the large TV screen turned on the moment Phosphora slumped over the couch. Everyone's attention immediately turned towards the giggling floating hand on the screen.

* * *

 _One mansion. Ten Assist Trophies. One objective only: survive for a month._

 _Welcome, ladies and gentlemen, to the first (and hopefully not the last) edition of **Happy Murder Party**! Prepare your hearts as you watch your favorite Assist Trophies deceive, betray and above all MURDER each other in front of various cameras as they try to live with and tolerate each other. _

_My name is Crazy Hand and I will be your host. Without any further delay, let's meet our wonderful contestants:_

 _Hailing from the mystical Twilight Realm, our first participant is none other than princess Midna. Due to a curse by the sorcerer Zant, she assumes the form of an imp who hides in the shadows of the hero Link when she's away from her realm. Incredibly sarcastic and filled with determination, Midna promises to be one tough girl to beat._

 _Our second participant is the beautiful commander of the Forces of Nature, Phosphora. Don't let her looks deceive you, Phosphora is one tough fighter, being able to challenge the God of Death, Thanatos, and beating him. As if having devastating electrical powers wasn't enough, she is also a brilliant scientist, coming up with various gizmos and gadgets. No wonder she's the Goddess of Nature's, Viridi, right arm. Rumors say that she could even beat Pit in a fight, but that's a controversy not worth getting into. Too bad she can't invent something that will make her sing better, though._

 _Coming up next, we have the Heropon, Riki. While not exactly the smartest cookie out there, Riki more than makes it up for having a big heart and being really tough to beat. Despite his childish appearance, he is actually a 40-year-old Nopon and father of eleven children. His travels through the Bionis and the Mechonis gave him enough experience on how to deal with people._

 _Our fourth participant is our ever so charismatic Waluigi. Unlike most Assist Trophies here, Waluigi has absolutely no heroic deeds in the past. Or villainous for that matter. In fact, all we know about this guy is that he likes money and goes on go-kart racing and other sport events. He just showed up at a tennis event one day and decided to stick around. For all we know, his life must be pretty mild and boring. But, hey, he's in Smash, so he must have done something amazing to deserve the spot, right? Right? Um… anyway…_

 _Next up, we have our fifth participant, Lyndis, or Lyn, for the more intimate friends. Daughter of Madelyn and chief of the Lorca tribe, Lyn grew up without a care in the world. However, all of that changed when a group of bandits invaded her little village and killed almost everyone there. Lyn was then forced to fight for her life and survive her new, harsh reality. Before she new, she was thrown in a game of war and political affairs. Oh, and she discovered that she is also a princess, because we cannot get enough of these here in Smash. All in all, Lyn is a calm, kind woman that probably hates yours truly after being picked for this game. But that doesn't matter because I love her anyway._

 _The sixth participant is none other than Dillon. Being a ranger of the Wild West, this tough armadillo's job was to protect villages from nightly invasion from the Grocks, who, as their name suggest, are monsters made of rock. Of course, Dillon was no lone ranger and had a specialized team that helped in the defense of the villages. He's reliable and actually a good strategist, being able to give the Robins a run for their money. Ha ha, okay, no, but he's still pretty smart. And I guess that's about it for this guy._

 _Now, our next participant is… controversial, to say the least. We know many are not very fond of Tingle, due to his eccentric nature and greedy attitude. But you know what? At least he sold maps to Link in his journey and even helped decipher ancient scriptures. He was pretty useful and (arguably) charming sometimes, unlike certain people who I'm not gonna name, because I'm a nice hand. He's… okay. Tingle, the seventh participant._

 _Coming up next, our eight participant, is the dashing, gallant prince Chrom, from the Halidom of Ylisse. How can I even begin to explain this perfect specimen of a lord? Chrom is the leader of a militia known as Shepherds and is also a direct descendant from the Hero-King Marth, which can explain how he and his daughter from the future, Lucina, are so handsome. While not exactly an Assist Trophy, Chrom participates in Robin's Final Smash, always ready to lend a hand to his best friends on their fighting. He's brave and ready to fight for what it's right, but above all, he believes that it is the bonds we forge that makes us strong. Ain't that sweet?_

 _The ninth participant is our little boy genius, Jeff Andonuts. Hailing from Winters, Jeff was one of Earth's four chosen children, along with Ness, Paula and Poo, to fight off Giygas, the very embodiment of evil. Unlike his friends, however, he does not possess any PSI powers. He may be timid and kind of awkward, but he also owns tons of explosives and served as the main firepower for his group. Not that he would be able to use his explosives here, but that only serves to show that he's not afraid to get his hands dirty every now and then._

 _Who's the girl next door, living in a haunted mansion? You better learn her name, 'cause she's Ashley, our tenth and last participant. Ashley is a young teenage witch who serves as Wario's employee, but don't let yourself be fooled by her innocent demeanor, because she is as creepy as she can get. When she's not creating mini-games for her boss, Ashley's coming up with the darkest spells and brewing the meanest potions. She can rule the world and still finish all her homework, she can even turn her teacher into a spoon. Just remember this when you see her on the street, Ashley's is the cruelest girl you'll ever meet._

 _Who will rise victorious? Who will win that sweet cash? Just what does fate has in store for these Assist Trophies? Find out here in **Happy Murder Party!**_

* * *

"Hello, my dear contestants! How are you doing?" Crazy Hand exclaimed. "Slept well?"

"Riki sleep as well as babypon!" Riki said.

"That's good to hear, Riki!" the hand said.

Lyn gestured for both she and Jeff to sit down on the couch. Knowing they would stay there for a while, he nodded and both took a seat by Dillon's side.

"Crazy, I have a question," Phosphora said, her voice showing irritation.

"Not now, Phosphora," Crazy snapped his fingers. "Alright, here are the rules. The ten of you are going to be forced to live in this mansion for this whole month. During this this time, you will have to find a way to murder each and every one of your housemates. In the end, the last Assist Trophy standing will be the winner."

"How do you expect this to take the whole month?" Dillon asked. "With only the ten of us, we could finish this off in an afternoon."

"I wasn't finished!" he coughed. "As I was saying, you will murder each other. But, BUT you cannot go on a killing spree like your pants are on fire. That would be waaaay too boring with the number of participants we have. Instead, here's how you're gonna do!

Every three days, each one of you will get a designated victim that you must kill. He or she will be the only person you can lay your fingers on and no one else. During these three days, you must find who your victim is through a clue I'm gonna give to each of you, form a strategy plan and finish him or her off before these three days end or someone else kills first. Once these three days are over, you will be given a new victim and the cycle repeats until there's only one Assist Trophy left."

"What would Waluigi gain if Waluigi killed someone first?" Waluigi asked, twirling his thin mustache.

"Immunity for the next cycle of three days. This means you'll have a big advantage! No one would be able to harm you, but you can still murder someone. Unfortunately, if you kill twice in a roll, you'll not get the immunity again. Gotta keep it balanced, you know?"

"So what motivation would we have to kill again anyway?"

"Because if you kill someone again, no one will get the immunity!" Crazy waved his index finger. "So you may not be protected, but nobody else will be either. Killing is always the best answer, since it protects you and also screws with your enemy's potential protection."

"Crazy..." Phosphora said.

"Oh, and if you so happen to kill someone on the same day you got your clue, there isn't going to be a rotation of victims right away, you still have to wait three days until you can get your new victim!"

"Cra-"

"Oh, and more thing! Killing someone when being attacked is valid, as long as it is in self-defense. But you won't get the immunity for that. You don't get cookie points for not doing more than your obligation of staying alive."

"I guess..." Dillon mumbled.

"CRAZY HAND!" Phosphora shrieked, drawing everyone's attention to her. "Just WHAT did you do to my powers?!"

"Your… powers?" Lyn asked.

"He he he!"

"Just yesterday I could fly just fine!" the girl barked, suddenly jumping up from the couch. "And now I can barely take my feet off the ground!"

Jeff's eyes widened as he suddenly realized what he found so odd about Phosphora before. She had been walking the entire time, instead of floating like she usually did. While he was not exactly close to her, the boy couldn't remember one instance where Phosphora had her feet on the ground. So to see her walking like that felt incredibly odd.

"I also can't shoot any electricity," Phosphora gritted her teeth. "What's the meaning of this?"

"Oh, great, I thought I was the only one who woke up without any powers today," Midna sighed.

"Oh, _Phosphora_ , if I let you have your powers, you would be pretty dang OP," Crazy Hand explained in between giggles. "I need to make this fair for everyone here! That's why you can't fly, or why Ashley can't cast a curse on anyone. The only exception I made to an extend was with Midna's hair grabbing, because just look at her tiny, flimsy little arms! She needs some strength to carry a knife or choke someone!"

Ashley just humphed and turned her head the other way. Midna, meanwhile, was just silently grateful that Crazy Hand decided to spare her magical hair powers.

"Here it's not about brawn, it's about brains," the hand waved his index finger. "Gotta be smart and kill with style."

"If we want to keep it balanced, shouldn't we nerf Jeff's brain too?" Waluigi snickered.

Jeff could feel a chill down his spine at that. Lyn simply glared the mustached man.

"Any more questions?"

"What happens if no one is in the mood to kill?" Chrom asked, crossing his arms.

"Oh, it's a surprise! But if you wanna an advice, I reaaaaally don't recommend doing that."

"You're going to sacrifice one of us, aren't you?" the prince groaned.

"Oh, come on! I said it was a surprise!" he whined. "You're no fun Chrom! You're just lucky that you're so handsome!"

"What does this..."

"Anyway, this also reminds me of another important thing," he pointed at the group. "You guys see those bracelets? Of course you do, you have them on you after all. Well, basically they are what will make you guys stay in line. If you kill the wrong person or if nobody kills anyone and somebody needs to be sacrificed in the end, this bracelet will activate and give you a very flashy death as punishment for your incompetence."

"How?" Ashley tilted her head to the side, grazing her fingers over the device.

"Oh, I just implemented a bomb in your stomachs while you slept. The bracelet with serve as a detonator."

"WHAT?!"

There was an uproar between them, all crying out how horrible Crazy was and how he had no right to violate their bodies like that. Crazy had to wave his hand frantically, trying his best to hush down the commotion.

"Geez, guys, it was a joke!" the hand exclaimed. "You don't have bombs on your stomach, I was just kidding! When the bracelet activates, needles will pop out and inject poison in your veins. You're not going out with a bang, don't worry."

"That doesn't make things any better!" Phosphora shrieked. "As if forcing us to kill each other isn't enough!"

However, there was another thing worrying Jeff...

"Crazy?" he timidly asked.

"What is it, Jeff?"

"Will there be a system that will numb any physical pain?"

"You mean if it'll hurt if you're attacked?"

He nodded his head. Crazy Hand just laughed that mad laugh of his.

"Of course it will hurt! Where would be the fun without it? Where would be the incentive?" he twitched his fingers in excitement. "Jeff, my boy, life is made of suffering and pain. May this be a lesson to you and everyone here."

" _I'd rather not learn this lesson,_ " he bitterly thought. " _Not again, anyway..._ "

"Any more questions? No? Okay then, I shall give you about two hours to just bum around, get acquainted with the mansion, before leaving your respective clues in your room," Crazy Hand waved at them. "I'll see you guys later. Take care!"

The screen faded to black and a heavy silence fell upon the ten Assist Trophies. What had Crazy Hand gotten themselves into? It seemed like an eternity until one of them (Ashley, to be more precise) decided to get up and go explore the mansion. As if getting out of a trance, one by one the Assist Trophies got up from their respective seats and scattered around to take a look at what the mansion had to offer, until only Jeff and Lyn were left.

They still had two hours until this demented game started, so it was just as Crazy had said… better get acquainted with the place.

"Well, that could have gone better," Lyn said as she stretched her back and got up. "We better get to know this place since we don't have much of a choice."

"Let's go..."

The screen turned on again, bringing their attention back to the excited hand calling for them.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Crazy said, pointing at the chromatic door near the TV, right at his left. "There's this really cool confession room over there. If you are in the mood to vent out your frustrations to a single camera, you can always go there. But try to keep confession time to only once per day, okay?"

The TV turned off again.

Lyn and Jeff just stared at each other curiously. Confession room, uh?

* * *

 _ **Lyn, fifth participant:**_

 _The girl sat on the lone white couch the room had to offer, passing her fingers over her emerald green bangs before looking deadpan at the camera in front of her._

" _I shouldn't even be surprised that all of this is happening," Lyn said. "After all, this game was created by the same person who thought it would be hilarious to include an invincible enemy on Smash Run and scare the Smashers – Pit especially—to death. To be honest, I'm just surprised Master Hand agreed with all of this."_

 _She looked both sides and gave a withdrawn sigh._

" _I know none of us will die for real, but..." she paused for a moment. "Crazy really did go too far this time. And the worst part? I'm angrier at Master Hand more than anything. So, Master Hand, if you're watching… I can only hope you see the error of your ways."_

And possibly hurt yourself with a prick while you're at it _. No, maybe that wouldn't be the smartest thing to say to him._

 _Lyn got up from the seat and left the room._

* * *

 **And all bets are off at this point. Who do you think will get killed first? I'm actually curious.**


	3. Just looking around

**Ok, I've seen some comparisions of this story to Total Drama Island, as well as a few others, so I just wanted to say that no, I've never watched Total Drama Island and I don't intend to. That show looks really ugly and kind of obnoxious, so I never bothered with it. My biggest three inspirations for this story was the Zero Escape series (mostly Virtue's Last Reward), Big Brother and The Ship: Murder Party.**

* * *

While neither Jeff or Lyn had any idea where they should head first, the swordswoman had suggested that maybe they should check the poorly scribbled map Crazy had made for them. They decided to visit the kitchen first, if only because they were getting hungry and they wanted to see if they had enough food for a month. So far nothing indicated that the mansion was lacking anything, but you'd never know.

As they passed by the large corridors, Lyn couldn't help but notice just how nervous Jeff was, be it from how stiff his shoulders were to how he couldn't stop fidgeting his hands.

"Dueling with unpleasant thoughts, are we?" she asked.

"How can I not?" Jeff let out a sigh. He was shaking beyond belief. "I really didn't want to be here."

"None of us wants to be here," she said, nodding her head at him. "Worry not, though. I promise to watch your back."

"You really don't need to go through the trouble of protecting me," the boy frowned.

"You say this like I'm doing it out of obligation," Lyn said with a warm smile. "Well, rest assure I'm not."

"You must think I'm pretty pathetic, don't you?" Jeff bitterly said, coming to a halt and making her to stop as well.

"What do you mean?"

"Just look at me, shaking in fear like I've never had to go through worse things," he put his hands in is pockets. "I have faced the literal incarnation of evil, Lyn! I had to transfer my soul into a robot, so I could go back in time and face said thing. I have gone through so many trials just to get to that point… Yet, here I am, shaking in fear over something so trivial. Haven't I learned to control my fear better after all this time? I just don't understand..."

"Jeff, now listen to me," she said, putting her hands over his shoulders and forcing him to look at her in the eye. "Nobody likes to face their own death, even if it's not permanent, like it is in this case. You're still at the risk of going through a lot of pain, of course this would make you anxious. I too am feeling nervous about this game, believe it or not."

"You don't look nervous."

"I guess I'm really good at hiding it then, because I truly am," Lyn took her hands off his shoulders. "You are not weak for being afraid, that's a perfectly fine feeling. It is what you do with this fear that counts."

"I guess..."

"And like I said, I promise I will watch your back. If trouble befalls you, I will be there to help you."

"Thanks, Lyn..." he took a deep breath. "And I promise that if anything bad happens to you, I'll be there to help you too!"

"That's good to hear," she smiled. "Thank you, Jeff."

As they continued walking, they passed by Riki, who bounced his way to the opposite direction without a care in the world. He waved one of his big, floppy ears at them and continued on his merry way. At least he seemed happy enough. Could nothing shake the Nopon's resolve? Jeff really wished he knew what went through his head sometimes.

They ended up reaching the kitchen and were actually surprised at the stark contrast it had with the rest of the mansion. While every other room and corridor they have been to looked old fashioned, the kitchen looked like something that came out from a cooking reality TV show. The whole place had a very sterilized feeling to it, with white walls, a cream marbled floor and mostly white furniture. Everything looked really clean and clear, without a hint of dust anywhere.

Which was why Midna and Chrom stuck out like a sore thumb as they looked around the kitchen.

"Oh, hello you two," Chrom greeted with a welcoming smile.

"Looks like we weren't the only ones who thought about checking on food supplies," Midna smirked.

"Can you really blame us for worrying?" Lyn asked.

"Not at all," the prince chuckled. "However, Crazy seemed to have some sense and gave us a generous amount of food."

"Generous doesn't even cover how much food we have," Midna said, using her hair to point at the chromatic door behind her. "Go check it out for yourselves. The storage is right behind this door."

They opened the appointed door and had their jaws practically on the floor from just how much food there was inside the room. Crates upon crates with all kinds of different labels were there. From fruits and vegetables to junk, processed food, it had basically everything they could have asked for. There wasn't anything there indicating that there was meat, but that mostly because all meat was stored in the huge fridge at the opposite side of the kitchen.

By the gods, that was enough food for a whole army! They could be locked inside that house with both Yoshi and Kirby and they could still survive a good few months, that was insane!

"I am going to eat like queen," Midna said with satisfaction. "At least something positive is coming out from this experience."

"Aren't you technically a queen already?" Jeff asked. "Or… princess, in this case?"

"Yeah, but if I was the true princess of the Twilight Realm, the _real_ Midna, there would probably be people searching for me now, wouldn't it?" she gave a bitter chuckle and rested her hands behind her head. "But I guess that's not the case. I'm just a copy, I'm no princess. The real Midna wouldn't be in this place."

There was an awkward silence between them. Somehow Jeff felt he had stepped into over sensitive territory.

"Anywho, I'm off to explore the rest of this dastard place. I'll see you people later."

They watched the imp walk away, hands still behind her head, and exchanged glances between them.

"Is she okay?" Chrom asked in concern.

"She'll get over it," Lyn said, putting a hand on her hips. "If her problem is what I think it is, she'll get around in no time. We all did at some point."

Jeff looked around, feeling a little distracted and eager to leave the kitchen and explore the rest of the mansion, when he spotted the small black camera hanging high on the corner of the ceiling. Both Chrom and Lyn ended up realizing where he was looking at and turned their attention to the camera as well.

"So those things are showing everything we say and do, uh?" Chrom frowned as he analyzed the device that looked so foreign to him. It wasn't as if he hadn't seen a camera in the time he has been living at the Smash Hotel, but he still had to get used to the device's concept of storing and reproducing images like that.

"I wonder who Crazy's broadcasting this game to," the boy commented.

"I suppose it's for the other Assist Trophies and Smashers, right?" Lyn suggested.

"No, that can't be it..."

"Why not? That seems like something he would do."

"Yeah, but think about it from the Smashers' point of view, Lyn. Do you really think they would just watch in silence? Do you think there wouldn't be an uproar?"

"When you think that way..." she muttered.

"I'm pretty sure if either Lucina or Robin were to watch Chrom get killed onscreen, they would throw a fit," Jeff continued. "Even you Lyn! Do you think Roy would just sit by and watch quietly you fight for your life because Waluigi's out for your head just so he can win some money?"

"And if Ness were to ever watch you get stabbed and Crazy just shrug it off like it's nothing, he would report it to Master Hand," Lyn crossed her arms. "Considering how he's part of the original twelve fighters of Smash Bros and how Master Hand is especially fond of them, he might reconsider aborting this game if Ness ever gets upset."

"Crazy wouldn't risk getting caught by the Smasher's ire," Chrom nodded. "He knows he can do whatever he wants with the Assists, but if he messes with the Smashers, he messes with his brother."

"Then… to who could he be streaming this game?" Jeff rested his hand on his chin.

"Who knows? Probably some rich bastards who enjoy watching others suffer," the blue haired prince scratched his head. "Or maybe he's doing this for his own amusement. It isn't as if Crazy's omniscient or anything, of course he would like to have eyes everywhere."

"Not an impossible theory, but it's also unlikely," Lyn said. "In any case, we should probably continue exploring the mansion before our two hours of rest are over."

"Right… Where do you two plan on going right now?"

"Probably the library, or even the movie room," he turned to Lyn. "I mean… if you're okay with it."

"The library sounds good," she smiled. "Chrom, are you coming with us?"

"Not really," he shook his head. "I'm really curious about what the terrace looks like. Here's hoping we get some sunlight."

Jeff highly doubted it, but he still hoped Chrom was right. They ended up parting ways and going to opposite sides of the mansion.

* * *

As soon as Jeff and Lyn stepped inside the library, they were greeted by a deadpan, yet hostile, voice:

"Oh, great, you two are here..."

"Hey, Ashley," Jeff frowned, not really pleased with her tone of voice.

Ashley just brought the book she held closer to her chest, avoiding eye contact with the two newcomers and searching for a cushion to sit on.

"Um, wouldn't you rather go take a look around the mansion instead of staying and reading?" Lyn asked, her voice sounding as careful as it could get.

"Why? This is probably one of the few moments I'll get any peace," Ashley shrugged her shoulders, still looking away. "Once our victims are announced, I'll be too busy worrying about how to stay alive and how to get my victim."

"When you say it that way, I suppose you have a point."

"Of course I do," the witch sat down on a dark green cushion and opened her book. "We have all the time in the world to walk around like scared animals and explore. I'd rather enjoy peace while I can."

"You mentioned you'd be too busy on planning on how to attack your victim," he said, raising an eyebrow at her. "Are you seriously thinking about getting into this whole murder thing?"

"What other options do I have? In this game it's either kill or be killed," she said and turned a page. "If you're going to be merciful and spare your victims, then suit yourself. _I_ refuse to hand my life on a silver plate to my possible murderers, thank you very much."

"Ashley, we are not going to let them hit us like this," Lyn explained. "If someone attacks us, we'll attack back. But if we can avoid conflict, then that's what we're going to do."

"If everyone thought like you, there would be no killing," Ashley shot back. "And then what? Someone would still be sacrificed. At the end of the cycle of three days, someone's still gonna die."

"And you're okay knowing that you killed someone in cold blood?"

"I just don't want to be picked at random at the end of the three day cycle and be injected with poison because nobody could gather the courage to play this stupid game right. Is it such a terrible thing to look out for myself?"

"It is when you step on other people for personal gain," Jeff retorted, angrily, "What a horrible way of thinking!"

His demeanor softened for a moment as he thought for a split second that Ashley seemed genuinely hurt by his comment. However, her expression grew cold just as quickly and she got up from her seat.

"I'm not obligated to sit by and hear about your opinions on wherever you think I'm right or wrong," she said, passing by them and bumping into Jeff's shoulder. "I'll be in my room. Have fun being just a victim."

They just watched the witch exit the library, book close to her chest and steps as quick as they could get, feeling completely dumbstruck. "What's even her deal," Jeff pouted. "I can understand Waluigi wanting to kill, because he's a horrible greedy human being, but Ashley… it's not like she wants the money or enjoys killing."

"I think she's just scared."

"So?"

"Jeff, when people are scared, they are capable of doing the most horrible things," Lyn explained, "We both know that."

"I'm scared too! But you don't see me announcing that I'll play along and kill people like it's nothing."

"Well… let's hope Ashley's just bluffing or really incompetent," she twisted her mouth.

"Here's hoping."

They walked around the library for a few minutes, checking the bookshelves and whatnot, before leaving to explore another room. Jeff could see that his friend was struggling with some really unpleasant thoughts, given how she wouldn't stop biting her nail beds, but it didn't look like she was in the mood to talk about her problems.

"I just wish I didn't have to spill any more blood," she murmured, her voice almost in a whisper, low enough for Jeff not to hear. "I've already done it so much in the past..."

"Lyn, you're too nice for your own good."

* * *

If there was one thing Jeff shouldn't be surprised it was that the terrace would be covered in one shape or form, making it look like it was just another room. There was a large, bright lamp attached to the sky blue ceiling, managing to cover the whole terrace in a warm white light, almost as if the sun itself was shinning down upon them. Resting on the various reclined white chairs were Phosphora, Dillon and Waluigi, chatting their problems away and seemingly having a good time.

"Waluigi, nobody cares about what you're going to do with the money," Phosphora complained. "You don't even know if you're going to win, just shut up already!"

 _Seemingly_ being the key word here.

"Wah, Phosphora, if you want something strong enough, then you'll surely get it," Waluigi waved his hand in a dismissive manner. "You're just jealous because you know you have no chances of winning, now that you don't have the powers you depend on so much."

"Like I care about the money," she scoffed. "It means nothing to me."

"Good, then just make this easier to everyone and leave the competition."

"I'm not going to kill myself."

"Then make everything easier to your killer and..."

* * *

 _ **Phosphora, second participant**_

" _Look, I'm not into the idea of murdering people for funsies or whatever," the Commander said as she examined her manicured nails. "But Waluigi is by far the WORST. His face is already an insult to nature itself, but his personality doesn't even make things better. If he ends up as my first victim, Viridi help me, I'm going to cut a bitch!"_

* * *

"Would you two please lighten up?" Dillon said, throwing his arms over his head. "I just came here to enjoy the fake sun, not listen to you bicker and throw insults at each other."

Jeff couldn't help but look at the ceiling once more. If he pretended hard enough, it could pass off as a sunny afternoon sky. Too bad he was not in the mood to play pretend, so that cheap knock off of a sky just annoyed him. Lyn, on the other hand, didn't pay any attention to her surroundings and just concentrated on the three resting Assist Trophies that faced the opposite direction.

"I can see you are getting acquainted with each other," she simply commented.

Dillon was the first to turn around. He greeted them with a gesture that made it look like he was tipping his hat at them, despite the fact that his hat was currently resting at his chair's side. "Howdy," was all he said.

"Take a seat, if you want," Phosphora motioned for the other available chairs. "Dillon's not helping with shutting Waluigi up."

"Wah! Then leave if you're so annoyed by Waluigi's presence!"

Dillon just gave a sigh and got up from his chair, irritated as he could get. He grabbed his hat and left the terrace in heavy steps, boots thumping against the glazed wooden floor and curses being thrown under his breath. Lyn and Jeff decided to follow him, as they were also not in the mood to tell them to knock it off.

They entered the dinning room, as it was connected to the terrace, and Dillon finally relaxed for a bit. "I can't stand those two," he said, without turning around to face Jeff and Lyn. "If they continue annoying me like that, I'll..."

"You'll what?" Lyn asked.

"Nothin', I'll do nothin'," he gave a withdrawn sigh. "But a guy can dream, can't him?"

"So you also won't murder anyone?"

"Only in self defense, partner," the armadillo adjusted his hat on his head. "I want Crazy Hand to realize how ridiculous this is by not playin' along."

"We think the same way!" she exclaimed, relieved to find yet another Assist who shared their views.

"Listen, you two try to take care of each other, 'kay?" Dillon said, switching glances between them. "Y'lucky you are such good friends. Havin' an ally here will be useful."

"What about you, Dillon?" Jeff asked, suddenly worried about the armadillo. "Don't you need an ally too?"

"Don't worry 'bout me, Jeff. It's not like we're close friends," he chuckled. "I don't trust you enough and I'm sure you don't trust me that much as well. Am I wrong?"

Lyn wanted to say he was, but couldn't gather the rights words and say it in the right tone that didn't make her sound like she was giving a suspicious denial. As much as it stung to admit, Dillon was kind of right. This was probably the biggest conversation they had ever since they started working together. What did they know about each other other than name and bits of their past?

Dillon was a nice person… armadillo… but he was still not trustworthy. And they knew the sentiment was mutual. They didn't know each other very well, who was to say one couldn't fall into temptation and stab each other in the back? Jeff knew he was not this sort of person and he also was pretty confident that he knew Lyn well enough to trust she would never betray him, but what about Dillon?

"I'll be checkin' around some more," Dillon tipped his hat at them. "I'll see ya around."

* * *

 **I have no idea what I'm doing with Dillon's accent here, I'm sorry.**


	4. The first victim

**I should be studying, but I'm getting this out of the wat soon.**

* * *

 _First Round – 72 hours remain_

" **Attention Assist Trophies, attention!** **The clues about your victims are currently available in your rooms. Run, run, run and you might get a head start.** "

Jeff practically jumped in surprise as the loud announcement boomed through the halls of the mansion. Were the two hours over already? He had realized only now that he hadn't seen a single clock around the mansion, so any concept of time was lost to him. The boy looked at Lyn, uncertain of what to do. Or rather, he knew what he wanted to do, but wanted to see what she had in mind anyway.

"We better go check our clues," Lyn said, as if reading his mind. "Even if Crazy didn't say it, I doubt our supposed victims are going to be our murderers. If we get to know who we should kill, we will at least know who won't pose a threat."

To that, Jeff simply nodded and headed back to his room. He had to check its location on the scribbled map he had in his pocket, since he realized he had forgotten where it was, only being able to remember that it was located on the second floor.

As he walked up the double stairs, he ended up bumping into Riki, who hopped the steps with a smile on his face. He really didn't seem all that concerned, which only raised all sorts of questions about what exactly was going on through his head.

"You seem pretty relaxed, Riki," Jeff commented as he adjusted his pace to match with the Nopon's.

"Riki is relaxed," he said, flapping his ears as he hopped. "Riki find mansion cozy and nice. Riki enjoy here very much!"

"Uh, you do know what we have to do next, right?"

"Oh, yes, Riki is okay with this."

"Wait, seriously?!" Jeff glared at him in disbelief.

"Death here is make-believe, it's okay!"

"It's not okay! People will..."

"Jeff should lighten up and think about prize," Riki said, his face still showing a genuine, sympathetic smile. "Nobody will die if they get killed."

"E-even so… it's not right."

"If Jeff say so," the Nopon started to bounce ahead of him as they reached the second floor. "Best of luck!"

Riki didn't seem to have any ill intentions, despite outright saying he would be playing along. Maybe it was a Nopon thing… or maybe he had a very well hidden sadistic streak. Either way, he was just another Assist Trophy that Jeff should keep an eye on. He quickened his steps as he slowly started to remember where his room was, his heart slowly gaining a faster pace the more he approached his door.

Jeff opened the door a little more forcefully than he should and quickly scanned his room, searching for anything that could be the clue. Only now he had realized that Crazy hadn't specified what the clue was, so it could be anything from a piece of paper to… something else.

As he closed the door, the TV screen on the wall turned on.

"Jeff, Jeff, Jeff!" Crazy Hand called for him. "Before you go searching for your clue, there's another rule I have to explain!"

"Another one?" Jeff groaned.

"It's not something I've considered until Waluigi opened his big, fat mouth and started bickering with pretty little Phosphora," the hand admitted.

"Well, what is it then?"

"Now, I am aware some of you don't want to be here and might do anything to get out of this mansion as soon as possible," he waved his index. "You might be thinking ' _Aha! If Crazy thinks I'm gonna just sit and play along, then he's got it coming. I'm just gonna break the rules on purpose, commit suicide and BAM I'm outta this game_.' Well… that's NOT gonna happen! Not in this murder party game, nuh uh! This is called the Happy Murder Party, not the Incredible Suicide Club!"

"I… really had no intentions on committing suicide at any point," the boy said with uncertainty. "But suppose that I might want to do just that. Let's just suppose I'm considering killing myself for a brief moment. What would happen then?"

"You simply do not leave this place!"

"Excuse me?"

"It is exactly what you've heard," he pointed an accusatory finger at him. "You don't leave the mansion, you're revived and forced to continue playing."

"Oh, come on! This isn't fair!"

"You know what else isn't fair? Dismissing a fun game I've put much care and thought into," Crazy Hand retorted, his voice sounding just a bit whiny. "I go out of my way to give you the best place to live in, the best food you can eat and even a reward for everything you do. And this is how you repay me? You hurt me, Jeff, you truly hurt me."

"Well… why not get people who are willing to play along then?" Jeff asked. "I mean, Goroh seemed interested! A-and I'm sure Girahim wouldn't mind wrecking chaos..."

"Ugh, then it would be sooooooo boring!" he exclaimed. "What fun would there be if everyone reacted to death and murder in the same way? I'd just watch a bunch of psychos jumping at each others throats. I mean, one or two of them here it's fine, but I want a bunch of precious, precious little angels having to deal with life or death situations too. Though… heh..."

"What?"

"I guess you're no angel, are you, Jeff?" if Crazy Hand had a mouth, it would be giving the biggest, smuggest grin.

"I didn't… I haven't killed..."

"Oh, right, you've just beaten random animals and new age retro-hippies until they became tame, my bad."

"It was in self defense..."

"Was it really?"

"Yes!"

"Welp, just think of this situation as the same thing," Crazy Hand said, his disposition much brighter. "Anyway, yeah, I don't want to see anyone slacking off. If I see you not putting effort in at least staying alive, you won't be able to leave this place until the game is over. I don't care if you stab yourself in the chest 3.452.309 times, you're still getting back. The worst that will happen is that I'm going to get pretty desensitized and not care at all about you after the seventh suicide attempt. So let's not do that, yes?"

"..."

"Good luck out there!"

The screen turned off, leaving Jeff alone with his own thoughts.

So not only was he forced into this murder situation, now he had to pretend he was into it?

"Let's get this over with..." he muttered.

Lucky for him, he didn't have to search for the clue too hard, since it was inside the desk's drawer. There was also a key which Jeff assumed it was to lock his own room when he went to sleep, but his focus was on the small, folded piece of paper at the moment. He carefully unfolded it and read the simple sentence written in delicate blue letter:

" _ **Like**_ _ **a bolt**_ _ **from**_ _ **the blue, here's your**_ _ **flashing**_ _ **clue.**_ "

Wait, was that it? Jeff turned the paper around, hoping to find more, but the other side was completely blank. "Okay, don't panic, maybe you're missing something," he hastily searched inside his drawer for anything else that might have escaped his attention to little avail. There was only his room's key and nothing else. He doubted it served for any other purpose out of keeping his room safe from the other Assist Trophies.

 _Like_ _a bolt_ _from_ _the blue, here's your_ _flashing_ _clue._ What did that even mean? Like a bolt from the blue… Blue…

Jeff inspected the clue again. Surely it couldn't be a coincidence that it was also written in blue. Maybe his victim had something to do with the color.

Could it be Chrom? The guy was the bluest person there that Jeff could think off, be it from his dark blue attire, to his blue hair and matching eyes. No… That sounded too obvious. But maybe it was because it was too obvious that Crazy gave him this clue. Either he was testing Jeff's confidence or he was just being a jerk by giving him something so obvious that obviously Jeff would second-guess himself.

Or maybe this clue was completely useless.

"Like a bolt from the blue..." he scratched his head. "Aaahhh, it's not like I'm going to kill this person anyway! Why am I even trying to figure it out?!"

He slammed the clue back in the drawer and decided to leave the room.

* * *

"Crazy, the least you could do is be more straightforward with your clues," Lyn quietly complained as she stopped to examine her clue again. " _The_ _sea of the night sky has plenty of stars_ _and_ _I am all alone. I want to make friends with everyone_. _"_

She hoped the other Assist Trophies had gotten the same vague clues. For now, she would try to find something to pass the time. Lyn could remember that there was a recreation room near the library, so she decided to head there and see if she could find a game to play. Somebody ought to be there anyway and it was much too early to start suspecting her fellow housemates. She tucked the paper she had in hands inside her long brown boot and walked downstairs, heading to the recreation room.

Lucky her, she bumped into Tingle on her way, who told her he also was heading in the same direction, hoping he could find something to pass the time. He ended up inviting her for a friendly game of chess, which wasn't really her thing, but it wouldn't hurt to humor the tiny Hylian for a bit. Besides, she really had nothing else to do, aside from pondering who the victim that she wasn't even going to kill was, so she accepted his invitation right away.

The room was surprisingly colorful, especially compared to the darker, duller colors of the halls. There were big, LCD televisions with the latest consoles plugged in, a couple round tables for card and board games, as well as numerous shelves stocked with all kinds of games. There were sofas and puffs sprawled around for their comfort and… was that a snooker table at the corner of the room? Lyn's eyes sparkled at the sight.

"Oh hoh, so you are a fan of snooker, I see?" Tingle commented as he noticed where her gaze fell upon.

"I really enjoy it, yes," she admitted. "Though between work and other errands, I almost never have the time. And when I do, I'm spending it somewhere else."

"I would suggest we played it then, but..." he extended his arms and looked at himself. "I do not think my stature is the most suitable for this game."

"Oh, not a problem, I can always play it later," Lyn smiled. "Well then, where is the chess board?"

"In the shelves," said a deadpan voice from the sofa. "Where else would it be?"

They turned around and saw Ashley slumped over the bright pink couch, playing on a small hand held console and without bothering on looking at them.

"Ashley, I thought you would be reading at your room," she said, crossing her arms.

"That book was really boring," she brought the console closer to her face. "I was getting bored, I needed to get out."

"...Would you like to join us then?" she offered.

"You're going to play chess, aren't you? Why would you want a third person?"

"We could always choose another thing to play, right, Tingle?" she turned to the green clad man.

"I don't mind at all."

"Why are you acting so friendly?" Ashley eyed her suspiciously.

"Why wouldn't I?" she tilted her head to the side.

"You do know what we're doing here, right?"

"And I've told you before I have no intention on killing anyone. This is not some attempt to get close to you so I can stab you in the back, if that's what you are worried about," the swordswoman said, sternly. "Now, if you're not interested, just say so. I'm not going to keep insisting if you don't want to participate."

Ashley avoided eye contact.

"I guess I could play chess with you after you're done with Tingle," she muttered. "This game is getting boring anyway."

"Alright, suit yourself," Lyn smiled. "Whoever loses will face against you. Are you okay with this?"

"Um… yeah, I guess."

"Good, then let us begin."

* * *

 _First Round – 61 hours remain_

"What Phosphos doing?"

 _Phosphos?_

"I'm trying to figure it out how this thing works," Phosphora answered, tracing her fingers over her bracelet. More especially, at the two little buttons that the bracelet had.

Riki simply snuggled on his chair, without bothering in looking at his own, tiny bracelet. "Phosphos should enjoy sunlight and stop trying to pull silly bracelet away," he said.

"What could be locking this thing?" she mumbled, not really paying attention to Riki. "Is it magic or just a lock system that can be hacked? Hmm..."

Maybe she could trick Crazy into giving her more information on how these things work. Depending on the method used…

"Have any of you seen Jeff around?" asked the obnoxious voice behind them.

Phosphora cringed.

"Why would I know?" she replied, rather rudely.

"Why do Wah ask?" Riki asked.

"Lyn said she had something to tell him, so she asked Waluigi for help in finding him."

Phosphora snorted. Loudly. "You? Willing to help someone on your own good will?" she sneered. "Yeah, right. Really, what do you want with him?"

"Waluigi doesn't owe you any answer, especially after Waluigi has already told the truth!" the skinny man barked. "Lyn wouldn't shut up until she had help in finding the twerp!"

"Jeff is probably in the kitchen," the Nopon said.

"Wah, thank you, Riki," Waluigi grinned and walked away, unaware of the odd looks he was getting from Phosphora.

The Commander watched him leave, brows furrowed and lips pressed in a thin line.

"Phosphos gonna have wrinkle like this," Riki commented.

"Gods, I hate him so much, Riki," she muttered, before turning around and going back to inspecting her bracelet.

What could he want with Jeff? Could it be…?

No, no, it wasn't possible. He wouldn't be that smart to figure his victim out in such a short time. So far nobody had managed to guess who their victims were. And by nobody, she meant herself. And if she hadn't figured it out, then why would that imbecile be any different? She refused to think he had surpassed her in something.

"..."

She was tired of sitting and going nowhere with the bracelet inspection. She needed to go out for a walk.

* * *

Two hours later, she ended up meeting Lyn in the halls on the second floor. Phosphora wished she could smile back at the green haired girl, but she was still feeling far too annoyed. The best she could do was not frown in front of her.

"Phosphora, I've been wondering, have you perhaps seen Jeff around?" Lyn asked. "We haven't met ever since we returned to our rooms to get our clues."

Wait, so she really had been searching for Jeff? So Waluigi wasn't lying?

"Um, not really, no," she answered. "Can't help you with this, sorry."

"It's quite alright, thank you anyway," Lyn waved her hand and walked away.

Maybe Phosphora was wrong in the end. Maybe Waluigi was just helping.

Or maybe she was giving him too much credit and he was still pretty much a huge asshole. Either way, she wanted nothing to do with what he might be planning.

* * *

"Jeff, there you are!" Waluigi exclaimed as he spotted the boy watching TV at the recreation room.

"Waluigi?" he asked as he rose from the couch out of politeness. "What is it?"

"Lyn has been searching for you, she wouldn't stop nagging me to help her," he said in a dismissive tone. "Just go to the kitchen, she's waiting for you there."

And with that, he turned on his heels and walked away, leaving a very confused Jeff behind. What could Lyn want with him?

"I wouldn't trust him, if I were you," Ashley said, still reading her book.

For just how long had that girl been there anyway?

"Since when do you care?" he asked.

"I'm just saying," the witch said, shrugging he shoulders and giving him a quick glance, before turning her eyes back to her book. "Waluigi is as sketchy as he can get."

"You may have a point, but… I don't know, I really haven't met Lyn since the beginning of this game, maybe she really wants to see me."

"You're an idiot."

"And you should learn to mind your own business."

Ashley scoffed and decided to get up. "Fine, be rude like that," she hissed. "I was only trying to help you."

"By calling me an idiot? Real friendly advice there, Ashley."

"Well… you are! Why would you follow what this guy says when it's clear he doesn't care about anyone other than himself?"

"If this was a ploy to kill me, do you really think Waluigi would be smart enough to figure out who his victim was? At least this soon?"

"...Well, you do have a point there," Ashley groaned. "These clues are too nonsensical. No way in hell would he have it figured it out this soon."

"Exactly."

"Even so, he might be dumb enough to think that he had guessed his victim right and try to kill you anyway, even if he is wrong. Then what?"

"Even knowing that the smallest slip up can cost his life? Or worse, his chances at getting the money?"

"Well, when you say it that way..."

Ashley bit her lower lip. He couldn't possibly be this careless! His life was at stake and he was just shrugging it off like he was seeking his own death!

…

Why did she care anyway? Jeff was such a genius dumbass. Let him die, if that's what he really wanted.

"Fine then, do what you want, I don't care."

* * *

 _First Round – 56 hours remain_

Jeff arrived at the kitchen, half expecting Lyn to be there, half expecting to find Waluigi's ugly mug giving him a sly grin. He knew very well what he might be getting into, but if he played dumb, maybe death would be swift and relatively painless. It was like getting a vaccine, he knew the needle was going to hurt, but if he was going to get it anyway, then it might as well be quick. Still, part of him couldn't stop screaming, to get out of there, protect himself and value his own life. Also, he really did miss Lyn, she'd better be there and prove that he was overthinking things.

But listening to the voice of self-preservation was little too late at that point, because he had just arrived at the kitchen and, lo and behold, Lyn was nowhere to be seen. Waluigi also wasn't there, which confused him, but didn't make him any less on edge.

It wasn't as if he had a death wish… he just didn't want to spend the month paranoid for his life. Maybe getting killed would be for the best, despite every inch of his brain screaming otherwise. Or maybe he wasn't as suicidal as he thought, he didn't know. Either way, he began to feel pretty stupid for being there.

As he prepared to leave, he heard the faint sound of something shuffling from behind him, as well as the sound of someone trying really hard not to laugh.

Crap!

Jeff turned around and jumped to the side just in the nick of time as a flying knife zoomed by his face and hit the wall behind. The world seemed to slow down as the realization that someone had just tried to kill him.

And that someone was none other than Waluigi himself.

"Wah, you are pretty quick for such a nerd," Waluigi complained as he rose from where he hid, right behind the counter.

Waluigi really did try to kill him. Jeff could feel blood drain from his face and his heart accelerate as he saw the skinny man grab a set of kitchen knifes.

"No problem, you're not escaping this room alive."

If he stood still, Waluigi would kill him and he would be out of the game. But did he really want that? He took a look at the sharp blade of the knife, glistening under the kitchen's strong white light.

...Probably not. Besides, Crazy Hand would probably see through his attempt to get out of the game soon and bring him back.

And so Jeff ran.

* * *

"Oh, there you are."

Lyn turned around at the seemingly bored voice that called for her and found Ashley walking towards her.

"What is the matter, Ashley?"

"Have you been searching for Jeff?"

"Oh, why, yes, I have," she said. "Have you seen him?"

"Waluigi just came by and told him you were searching for him and that you were waiting for him at the kitchen," the witch raised her eyebrow at the growing shocked expression Lyn's face had. "I'm going to assume you didn't ask for Waluigi's help?"

"N-no, not at all!" she exclaimed.

"I think Jeff is in trouble, you might want to go check the kitchen out."

"Thanks for telling me that!"

Lyn turned on her heels and dashed towards where the kitchen was. She accidentally bumped into Chrom's shoulder in the way, but just ignored him as she made her way to where her friend was. How could Jeff be so naive to trust someone like Waluigi? If he managed to survive, she would kill him herself for making her worry so much!

The girl could feel her heart stop as she heard her friend scream in terror.

No, no, no!

"Jeff!" Lyn shouted, running even faster as she quickly approached the kitchen.

As if on cue, Jeff dashed out of the kitchen, being followed by a bloodthirsty Waluigi carrying a sharp knife. She needed to get that knife away from him and fast! Lyn threw herself at the greedy man and tackled him with such strength that she met little to no resistance, making both of them fall on the ground.

"Get off of me, you crazy woman!" Waluigi screamed, waving his hand around and struggling against her.

She didn't say anything and focused on trying to get the knife from his hand. She barely registered that Jeff had stopped running and turned around, confused as to what was going on.

"Lyn?! What are you-"

Lyn hesitated for a moment, as if Jeff's voice had triggered something in her brain that made her stop whatever she was doing to look at the frightened boy. And it was that simple mistake that gave Waluigi an opening to attack.

 _THWACK!_

Waluigi stabbed Lyn in the chest, his movement swift and precise. A trail of blood trickled down from her mouth as her chest started to soak up in a pool of blood, tainting her beautiful blue dress.

"U-urgh..."

Lyn's body fell over Waluigi, who cussed and desperately pushed her aside so he wouldn't get dirty.

And at that moment, Jeff screamed.

* * *

 **Yeah, congrats to anyone who guessed Lyn right. She really was too nice for her own good. This is what you get for trying to stay relevant, Waluigi. Also, can anyone guess who Jeff's and Lyn's victims were? I'm curious.**


	5. Good people die, except not really

_Attention, Assist Trophies: There has been a murder near the kitchen! I'm still baffled that it's happened so soon, but it's happened nonetheless. Our beloved Lyn has left us, and I want everyone reunited in the living room in five minutes. Feel free to check on the body, or ostracize Waluigi if you want. Just do it quickly so we can give the final verdict of this murder._

Jeff could barely make out the words that boomed through the speakers with his mind still in a confused and desperate haze. He couldn't tear his gaze away from the bloody corpse of his friend that laid cold on the ground, the fresh blood running down and tainting the cream colored carpet.

Lyn, his only friend in that whole mansion, was dead. The only person he felt safe around was stabbed in the chest while trying to protect him. Had Jeff not been so stupid and willingly fallen into Waluigi's not so clever trap, she would still be alive. Had it not for him being so useless, she…

Jeff wanted to throw up.

"Waluigi can't believe this bimbo would do something like this!" the scrawny plumber cursed. "Now what?!"

"Now you wait for Crazy Hand's judgment," Tingle said as he approached the crime scene. "You really did make a mess there now, didn't you?"

"Lyn threw herself at Waluigi," he barked back. "It's not fair! Waluigi wanted to stab Jeff!"

In a moment of rage, Waluigi got up from the floor and tried to lunge himself at Jeff. By some miracle, Jeff managed to dodge him in time. Seriously? After all that happened, Waluigi still wanted to kill him?

"Don't even bother, Waluigi," Tingle snickered. "What's done is done. You killed Lyn, and you still got the wrong person. You better pray that she was the right one, and that you were wrong about Jeff being your actual victim."

"It's not fair, it's not fair," he sat on the floor again, his head hanging low. "It's not fair… It's like the universe hates poor Waluigi..."

More and more Assist Trophies began to appear, each looking at the crime scene with either a look of horror, or a look of surprise. Jeff could only watch Waluigi pity himself with disgust. He hoped his punishment would be just as painful.

Wow, when did he get so vengeful? Uh… anyway, he still wanted Waluigi to die. Fucking greedy murderer.

* * *

"Now, I know what you're thinking..." Crazy Hand started. "How has Waluigi, of all people, managed to give the first step? How was he the one who got to murder first when there are more intelligent people around?"

"Actually, Riki was just thinking if someone will clean the mess Wah made."

"Yeah, okay Riki, now sit there on the couch and let me finish," the hand said, waving at the Heropon in a dismissive manner. "Anyway, I have the recording of the scene with me and I can definitely say that Waluigi screwed up."

"Waluigi killed Lyn in self defense!"

"Waluigi, Waluigi, Waluigi," Crazy Hand said, giving a mocking sigh. "The recording doesn't lie. You tried to kill Jeff, and killed Lyn when she tried to protect him. She was unarmed and probably just wanted to take the knife away from you, because she's like the nicest person around here."

"How do you know if she wasn't using that as an excuse to kill poor Waluigi, uh? Ever thought about that?"

"Lyn would never do that!" Jeff exclaimed.

"What Jeff said," their host added. "Waluigi, you screwed up, so now you'll have to pay. Lyn was not your original target and you killed her. I don't care if you got your victim right and tried to kill Jeff, what it matters is who you ended up killing."

"B-but… Look, I'm not trying to play the devil's advocate here," Dillon said, awkwardly adjusting his hat, "but what if he was telling the truth? What if Lyn was trying to get the knife away from him just so she could stab him instead?"

"Why would she do that? Waluigi wasn't her target, it was Ashley. To try to kill Waluigi in order to defend Jeff would be pretty dumb. And Lyn's not dumb… at least, not for this. She was dumb for getting in the way, but she would be extra dumb if it was for this reason."

"Oh, if that's the case," the armadillo turned to the desperate plumber. "Sorry, buddy, can't defend you there. Ya screwed up."

Waluigi could feel every judgmental stare burning into his skull, especially Jeff's, who sat as far away as possible from him. He could feel beads of sweat trickling down from his forehead and sweat dampening his gloves, his breathing short and rapid.

He didn't want to die. He wanted to get that cash. His five hundred bucks…

"And it is with much grief in my non existent beating heart, my dear Waluigi, that I must bid you _adieu_ ," Crazy Hand said with a sigh. "I was going to say it was a pleasure to have you here, but that would be a big fat lie. We barely knew ya."

"But, Crazy! Waluigi had his victim right!"

"Don't care."

Blip. Blip. Blip.

The bracelet on Waluigi's wrist emitted a bright glow and its needles popped out, making Waluigi scream in pain as the venom was injected in his veins. The rest of the Assist Trophies could only watch in shock and fear as the man fell on the ground, writhing and twisting in pain, the veins on his neck popping up, his eyes wide and red and his mouth fuming and coughing blood. His face continued to twist and get even uglier than before, if that was even possible.

Nobody could gather any sort of strength to get up and try to help him, mostly because it would be useless. Waluigi was doomed, and if they were not careful in the next days, they could be in that situation as well. Sure, they would revive later, but nobody wanted to go through that kind of pain. Look at how Waluigi's eyes popped out! That was one unholy display of agony. Just how much would it take for the suffering of this poor bastard to end? Jeff uncomfortably glanced at his fellow housemates and was not surprised to see the equal discomfort on their faces.

He saw Ashley glance back at him. Was she expecting him to enjoy the display in front of him? Waluigi did end up killing his best friend in the house after all. Was she mentally scolding him for being the reason why all of this drama happened? That was probably unlikely, considering Ashley was one of the most apathetic girls he has ever met, but still, anything at that point was possible. Jeff couldn't get a read on her face, so he hadn't the foggiest idea of what the witch could possibly be thinking.

It seemed like forever until he drew his last breath, never to shout another "Wah" in that house for the rest of their stay there. Without his guttural, panicked noises, there was a somber silence between the Assist Trophies that only got worse as the seconds passed by. They had just witnessed someone getting murdered and they didn't do anything. As much as it hurt seeing Lyn laying a pool of her own blood, at least she was already dead. And even for Jeff, who had watched his friend get murdered, watching Waluigi's punishment was way worse…

Well, that wasn't nearly as satisfying as he thought it would be. If anything, he was a little more traumatized than before.

"...Sooooo," Riki said, trying to break the tension. "Is Wah body going to be removed?"

"Soon, Riki, soon," Crazy said. "Now, you still got a lot of hours until you shift victims, so take this time to rest a little. Maybe get social with each other without second intentions, or something like that."

Nobody said anything as the screen turned off. Jeff was the first one to get up, silently walking away from the rest of the Assist Trophies. He had no intentions of talking to any of them in the next couple dozens of hours and would just isolate himself in his room.

* * *

 _Knock. Knock._

Unfortunately, it seemed like he wouldn't get the peace and quiet that he wanted, because no more than five minutes after he locked himself in his room, he heard a knock on the door. He decided to politely ignore it and just covered his head with his pillow.

 _Knock. Knock._

Wouldn't this person please let him wallow in misery alone? How rude.

"Jeff, I know you're in there," said a deadpan voice from the other side. "Open the door."

Oh, great. What could Ashley possibly want from him?

"Ashley, let me mourn in peace," he said out loud, still not bothering with getting up from his bed.

"I'll leave you alone once you hear what I have to say. Open the door and let me in, so we can finish this quickly."

Jeff got up from the bed, stretched his back and answered the door, his face showing that he'd seen better days. His face was very pale and his eyes were still red from the tears he tried so desperately to hold back, which helped soften Ashley's demeanor a bit.

"Listen, I know how much you're suffering right now," she said, clearly uncomfortable. "Of course, this wouldn't have happened if you'd just _listened to me_ , but..."

She bit her tongue as Jeff's murderous glare pierced through her soul. Not because she was frightened, she was just surprised someone like him could even muster up a glare like that one.

"Anyway, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for your loss," Ashley said, avoiding eye contact. "Lyn was… really nice. And pretty. And uh..."

"Ashley, you don't need to make an effort to praise Lyn if you don't feel like it. It sounds really fake."

"Argh, no! That's not..." she scratched her head. "Look, I'm not used to paying condolences, okay? But I do feel sorry that she went out so soon and that she left you unprotected like this."

"H-hey, what do you mean, unprotected?" Jeff blushed in embarrassment. "I can take care of myself."

Ashley just raised an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. "Need I remind you the reason why she's not here with us to begin with?"

"No, you don't!" he exclaimed. "Look, I screwed up, alright? She's dead, and it's all my fault!"

There were tears that threatened to fall from his eyes, but he tried his best at holding them off. "B-but that doesn't mean I can't take care of myself, as long as I watch my back. And… And I intend on doing that from now on. I was careless before, but I'm not going to make her sacrifice be in vain..."

"Neither will I."

"Excuse me?"

"I will not make Lyn's sacrifice be in vain," Ashley said, finally looking him in the eye. "I'll protect you."

It took a lot of will and self discipline for Jeff to not laugh at Ashley's face. Her? Protect him? The most aloof, uninterested girl Jeff has ever met in his life, suddenly deciding to care about him and protect him from people who might want him dead? Please.

"Ashley, why do you care?" Jeff asked, giving a nervous grin. "Weren't you all for trusting no one and caring only for yourself?"

"I still do," she shrugged her shoulders. "But… Maybe having an alliance or two wouldn't be a bad thing."

"Why?" he snarled. "So you then you can expect me to sacrifice myself when you're in danger?"

"Are you always this unpleasant with other people?" she hissed. "What did Lyn even see in you?"

Jeff took a deep breath. As much as he didn't trust Ashley and was still confused, she did have a point on him being unpleasant. He wasn't like this… At least, he liked to think he wasn't. Right, he needed to be more level-headed than this.

"Sorry, I guess I'm still a little jumpy after everything that happened," he mumbled.

"I can see that."

"It's just that… you, of all people, coming to me and offering to make an alliance caught me by surprise," the boy admitted, still feeling reluctant.

"Yeah, I guess that would be a shock," she mumbled.

Should he trust her? After everything that happened to Lyn, a part of Jeff's brain was screaming at him to not trust the girl in front of him. She had a theme song that told just about how terrible she could be with other people for crying out loud! Wait, wasn't there a part where it implied she wanted to have more friends? Jeff would have to listen to it later.

Back to the question in hand. Should he trust her?

He looked at Ashley in the eyes. They seemed sincere enough.

"Alright, I trust you." Jeff could swear he could hear that part of his brain scream louder. He felt a ghost of a smile appeared on the witch's lips. Was he imagining things?

"But… how exactly will this alliance work?" he asked. "I don't want you throwing yourself in danger just for me."

"Yeah, I don't want to do that either," she said, crossing her arms. "We can do it like this, if I happen to be your next victim, you don't target me, and if you happen to be my next victim, I won't target you. Sounds reasonable?"

"Sounds good to me."

"And if we happen to get different victims, we tell each other what we know about the other Assists' targets and who might pose a threat to us."

"Got it."

"Yeah."

"Yeah..."

Ashley looked away, arms crossed over her stomach and shifting her weight from one foot to another. Jeff also had no idea how to continue that conversation, so after a good half minute of uncomfortable silence between them, he said:

"So, can I just go back to sleep? I'm feeling very tired."

"Oh, right," Ashley said as she stepped away from his door. "So, I guess I'll see you later then?"

"I guess," he said, slowly closing the door. "Take care."

Ashley nodded and went on her way, finally giving the Jeff his much wanted solitude. He slowly closed the door and headed towards his bed in heavy steps, his mind both racing with thoughts and somehow not thinking about anything in particular.

He had just agreed to make an alliance with Ashley. He made an alliance with Ashley and he didn't know if he should be really worried or relieved. Only time would say if that was the best decision he has ever made, or if he had just signed his death sentence.

As soon as Ashley heard him close the door, she practically skipped ahead, a nervous, yet excited little smile appearing on her lips. She had just made an alliance with Jeff and he didn't turn her down! Maybe she was salvageable and could hold a decent conversation without freaking someone out! Sure, he was kind of a jerk, but that was his fault, not hers. Besides, he apologized, so that was okay. What matters was that she didn't need to threaten to hex him if he didn't agree (not that she would, because her magical powers were turned off).

Maybe this game wouldn't be a total bore like she had initially thought.

As for Jeff, he just laid in his bed thinking seriously about what he had just agreed on. As long as Ashley kept her word and didn't use their alliance to manipulate him into his own demise, he knew that having her as an ally might actually be a good thing.

"Hm..."

His hand roamed through the pocket of his jacket, searching for the crumpled clue he had gotten. He absentmindedly read his clue over and over, curiosity finally getting the best of him. Who was supposed to be his victim?

 _Like a bolt from the blue, here's your flashing clue._

Blue… blue…

Like a bolt from the blue. Bolt.

Bolt… lightning… Blue lightning!

"DAMN IT!"

There was a loud sound as he slapped his forehead at how ridiculously simple his clue was. Like a bolt of the blue! Blue lightning! The only person with any connection to lightning in that house was Phosphora! The clue was probably referring to the electrical blue scarf she always wore around her neck. How had he not realized that before? It was really simple.

For crying out loud, her title was Flash Lightning Phosphora, he should have realized that earlier.

Looks like the clues really were that simple, he just had to have a more open mind interpreting them. Not that he would use it to murder someone, he refused to do that. But it was as Lyn had said, if he knew his victim, it was more likely that the victim would pose no threat to him as his murderer. He really hoped the next clues were like this one, it would make the game easier for him.

* * *

 **Yup, congrats to everyone who guessed Phosphora right, the clue really wasn't that hard. As for what Derick Lindsey's theory, yeah, that might have been a possibility, but that would make Waluigi a huge gambler and a mastermind. Honestly, I just can't imagine him being THAT smart, even if he guessed his victim before everyone else. But who knows? Maybe someone might use this strategy, I don't know. To be honest, I initially thoughts about making Lyn last longer, but since the begining I wanted to focus more on Jeff and Ashley, so... yeah, that was a pretty jerk move from my part. My bad.**

 **Fun fact, the venom used to kill Waluigi is from a golden lancehead snake, because Crazy Hand is a huge hipster and had to get it from the most underground pit vipers ever.**


	6. Bonding time

_First Round – 40 hours remain_

It felt like forever until Jeff decided to leave his room to get something to eat. As much as he wanted to avoid the place where Lyn was murdered, he couldn't ignore the ache in his empty stomach anymore and he might as well eat now that there wasn't anyone planning on killing him. And while he had just made an alliance with Ashley, he didn't feel like meeting her at all, so he was pretty relieved to find Chrom in the way to the kitchen.

Seemed to be a recurring thing between them.

As much as Jeff didn't want to talk to other people, Chrom was at least a more comforting person to talk to. It almost made the boy feel sorry for him for being dragged into this game. Almost. On the bright side, he knew Chrom was trustworthy. The prince would never kill anyone, right? Right, so he had nothing to worry about. Kind of a selfish thought, but it was much too late to feel good about himself, so it was better to at least be sincere with his own feelings.

"I just realized that I hadn't eaten a thing since we have arrived here," Chrom said, bringing Jeff back to reality. "I'm starving! What about you?"

"I wouldn't say starving, but I'm still pretty hungry," Jeff said as he walked towards the fridge. "I'll admit it feels kind of weird being able to eat whenever without knowing if you're having lunch or dinner."

"Indeed it is."

As they've both prepared their lunch, a simple tuna sandwich, Chrom couldn't help but notice Jeff's sullen face. At first he had no idea what could have put him in such a bad mood, but then he remembered the whole incident with Lyn and why they were having a break from needing to murder each other in the first place.

"You alright?" he asked once they've both settled down on the marble table, each with their respective meal.

"Still feeling down, but at least Lyn is in a better place," jeff sighed. "Well, a better place than here, at least."

"I see..." Chrom said in sympathy, "You two were really close, weren't you?"

"Nowadays, yes, but we didn't talk that much back in the Brawl era," the boy explained as he munched on his sandwich. "I used to hang out only with Ness and a few other Smashers. We started hanging out more when the new tournament was around, when we were in charge of showing the newcomers around."

"Showing the hotel around, uh? I don't think I was there when this happened."

"You weren't?"

"Not really, I was just kind of thrown there and had to figure things out for myself," the prince shrugged his shoulders. "I had both Robins and Lucina by my side, so I wasn't completely lost, but then again, they were also newcomers, so the four of us were lost together."

"But every Assist Trophy had this tour..."

"I'm not an Assist Trophy, remember?" he said, with just a hint of bitterness in his voice, "I'm just Robin's accessory in their Final Smash."

"...That's rough."

"I'll live with it."

"Well, let's hope you do."

"Ha! Good to know you haven't lost your sense of humor."

* * *

 _ **Chrom, eight participant:**_

" _Honestly, the fact that I'm just part of Robin's Final Smash makes all the more unfair that I'm here," Chrom said as he slumped over the red couch. "But I guess Crazy really wanted to have me here, I'm pretty sure the lottery was rigged."_

 _He then scratched his head, his eyes not focusing in anything in particular. The lottery probably wasn't rigged, that was just his imagination._

" _But I guess life's not fair," the prince said with a somber expression. "We are nothing but pawns to his sick, twisted game, fated to just jump at each others throats thanks to constant fear and paranoia… Never to be rescued, because what is the point in hoping that someone will worry about us? Why should we fight the inevitable, since in the end, we don't matter?"_

 _Maybe Chrom should lighten up the mood, this was getting depressing real fast._

" _Maybe Crazy should start considering becoming a decent manager and stop toying with his creations."_

 _Ha, fat chance! I'd be caught dead before giving up now on this game!_

 _...I mean, Chrom looked up with a slight frown on his beautiful face, clearly not looking at anything._

" _Do you feel the need to narrate everything that we do here?" he asked._

 _Little did Chrom know that narrating was essential for this show. He knew nothing, the innocent one._

" _You know what? I'm done here," he said as he got up from the couch, "This is giving me a migraine."_

* * *

After his lunch with Chrom (as much of a lunch a tuna sandwich could be), Jeff decided to spend some time at the recreation room. Maybe he could find some game to pass the time, or even waste his hours away watching television. He had expected to find anyone there, but if there was one person he didn't expect to meet was Ashley. Either she had been following him, or that was some awful coincidence. He was still kind of wary of the girl, despite their new forged alliance. Besides, aside from said alliance, he had absolutely no idea what to talk about with her. Ashley was such a mystery and Jeff up until that moment didn't feel like getting to know her. That was probably why he didn't have too many friends to begin with. But he was pretty happy with the ones he had, so who cares?

Jeff needed to stop those divergent thoughts. They were bad for concentration. Right now, he had to come up with some topic to discuss with Ashley, or else, they would just stand there awkwardly and it wouldn't be fun for anyone. Besides, it wouldn't hurt to know more about his new ally.

"So, uh, I didn't expect to find you here for a second time," he said, awkwardly walking towards the girl slumped over the couch. "The first time was already enough of a surprise."

"Is it really that surprising?"

"A little… I kind of expected you to be locked up in the library, sitting behind a pile of books."

There was a ghost of an amused smirk on her lips, though Jeff didn't notice it in time before it disappeared.

"Do I really look like such a nerd that all you can imagine me doing is studying?"

"Well, no, but you do seem to spend an unhealthy amount of time studying witchcraft."

"Can't argue with that," she shrugged her shoulders. "But I do like games every now and then. Trust me, when you work at the place I used to work, you kind of learn how to at least like them a little."

"Wait, you used to work?!" he asked, completely taken by surprise. "Where?"

"At the WarioWare company. I was responsible for creating all kinds of mini and macrogames there."

She used to work for Wario? Now that explained why he used to see Ashley talking to the fat man every now and then, they had a history together. Jeff felt horrible for thinking she was a creepy shut in who never left the house. But the again, how could he know that someone as young as Ashley had a stable job? In this economy? He couldn't help but admire her a little more after that.

"And… did you you like it in there?"

"The people were nice, can't really complain about them," she held her game closer to her chest and brought her legs closer. "I mean, I didn't talk to them much, but they were nice."

"Oh, really?"

"Hm..." she nodded, getting clearly uncomfortable where the conversation was going. "So what about you? How was your world before waking up in this realm?"

"I used to study at a private school in a place called Winters," Jeff said, now sitting at the edge of the couch, just mere inches away from her feet. "It was one of those intern schools, so I didn't get the chance to go out much into town. I'm still surprised to this day I actually ran away from it to join Ness in his quest to defeat Giygas."

"Not much for going out?"

"No, not really," he scratched the back of his neck. "But after my adventure, I felt like I've missed a lot because of being such a shut in. Despite all the emotional scarring part, visiting all of those places was really cool and I've made three great friends. Before Ness, I had only one true friend, really… I think he had feelings for me, but I mostly ignored it."

"Wow, you really are a jerk!"

"That's rich coming from you."

"I don't try to disguise it, at least."

"I like to think that I got better," Jeff said, suddenly feeling down. "This was way before my adventure, and, well, I never really got the opportunity to talk to him about this, so..."

"Whatever, it's all in the past, right?" Ashley said, finally sitting up. "What matters is the life you live here, not the life you can never go back to living."

"Well, I guess, but I still want to know if I ever apologized to him or not," Jeff looked up. "I never got to sort my feelings out, so I wonder if the original Jeff did."

"Sort out your… feelings?" the witch looked confused at him. "What are you implying?"

Jeff just shrugged his shoulders and said nothing.

"Weren't you and Lyn a thing?"

"W-what?! No, no, of course not!"

"I could swear..."

"Ashley, she's way older than me! What were you thinking?!"

"That can't be possible," she crossed her arms. "She can't be more than a year older than us."

"I don't know, she never told me her age. I just always assumed that she was at least 18."

There was an awkward pause between them, as if both wanted to drop the topic but had no idea how to smoothly change the subject without making things even more awkward. Jeff felt even worse, now realizing he had no idea how old his friend was. He could swear he had hear Lyn commenting that she was 18 at some point and took that for granted, but what if he had just imagined? Once he left that mansion, he would ask her. He simply had to.

His line of thought was interrupted by the playful banter behind him. As both Jeff and Ashley turned around, they saw Dillon and Midna entering the room, both surprisingly and calm and amiable towards each other.

"You had to see his face when I canon balled out of the stage and him while he recovered," Dillon said, earning another laugh from Midna. "I don't think I've seen Link look so mad before. I bet he still won't admit that Pit won that day."

"Ha ha, that sounds like Link alright!" Midna clutched her ribs. "No, but seriously, it's like I never am summoned by him, only against him. Link's probably starting to think that I'm doing something with the system just so I can go against him."

"And you are?"

"Of course not! It's just bad luck, that's all," she said as waved her tiny hands. "Just like my whole life. It's one strike of bad luck after another."

It was only then that they realized the other two occupants of that room. Dillon tipped his hat in a respectful manner at them, while Midna greeted them with a wave of hand.

"And just what are you two doing here, all alone?" the twilight princess teased.

"Nothing that concerns you," Ashley said, now with her more familiar emotionless tone.

"We've been talking, nothing more," Jeff said, making sure to be friendly for both of them. "What about you guys? Are you here for a game of chess?"

"Pfff, chess?" Midna smirked, "Please, I only accept Othello."

"Othello, really?" Ashley looked at her in disbelief. "Who even plays Othello nowadays?"

"I do, and it's certainly way more interesting than chess."

"Midna kept sayin' this game was great, so I might check it out," Dillon said, "'Sides, she told me the loser had to take two shots of tequila as punishment."

"If she's a pro at this game, wouldn't that make it more probable that you're the one who's going to lose and take those shots?" Ashley raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah!" the armadillo gave a toothy grinned.

"This is dumb," the witch groaned and got up. "I'm leaving."

Ashley walked away, leaving behind two dumbfounded Assist Trophies and an annoyed Jeff behind. To think a few moments ago they were actually holding a decent conversation…

"She doesn't have much of a filter on, does she?" Midna asked.

"How can ya stand someone like this, Jeff?"

"She can be sort of nice when she wants to," Jeff said, though he still felt annoyed. "Ashley's just stressed, leave her be."

"You have the patience of a saint for putting up with her, Jeff," Midna said.

No, he just didn't want to go through this game without an ally. He was not being altruistic, he just forced himself to put up with Ashley because he believed that their alliance would benefit both of them. Ashley wouldn't be out for his head and maybe he could convince her to not play along by Crazy Hand's rules.

But above all, he was just glad to feel less alone, even if the person in question was someone he still felt a little afraid to trust completely.

How he wished Lyn was still there with him…

"Well, where's that Othello board?" Midna chirped, walking towards the tall shelves next to the snooker table.

* * *

Okay, so maybe calling both Midna and Dillon stupid might not have been the brightest idea, but the fact that Dillon wanted to play that game just so he could use it as an excuse to drink made her skin crawl. Why even give that excuse, when he could go to the nearest bar (she was sure that mansion must have had one) and drink? Ashley hoped she hadn't made two potential enemies with that little commentary, but it more probable that she did, so she might keep an eye out for Midna and Dillon.

As she passed through the living room, she found Riki napping on one of the couches, as if he had no worries in the world. So far the Heropon was one of the most carefree people Ashley had ever seen. It almost made her jealous. Almost.

"Hello? Ashley, can you hear me?"

Ashley yelped at the sudden, new voice that called out for her. She turned around to face the TV screen that hung on the wall, only to find Isabelle's image staring at her with gentle eyes.

"What..."

"I'm sorry for scaring you like this," she apologized.

"You didn't scare me," Ashley huffed, "You caught me by surprise, that's all."

"He he."

"But what are you doing here anyway? Where's Crazy Hand?"

"He's out for a while, trying to fix the Miiverse stage," Isabelle explained, "He decided to have me as his assistance in the game, since he can't watch over you 24 hours per day."

"Oh, great, so you're part of this too," the witch groaned.

"Not because I wanted to. It was either this, or be locked in my trophy form until the end of this game."

"What do you mean by that?"

"Crazy Hand had decided that the rest of the Assist Trophies were a threat to his plans, since one of them might tell about it to one of the Smashers," Isabelle said, bringing her paws close to her chest. "He decided to lock everyone up and told the Smashers that we were all out camping, since technically we're all on vacation."

"You've got to be joking!"

Isabelle shrugged her shoulders.

"So nobody will really miss us," the witch mumbled, biting her nail beds as the situation sunk in. "I mean, I know they wouldn't miss me, but they might miss the others and we might have been rescued, but now..."

"I'm so sorry, Ashley, I just couldn't do anything to stop this," the secretary sniffed. "And to think that Lyn and Waluigi had already appeared here in their trophy forms… They were promised their suffering would be over, but it was no better for them either."

"Can't you do anything at all?"

"What can I do? I'm just one Assist Trophy, what power do I have to overthrow Crazy Hand's plans?"

"You're free! You can go out and alert the Smashers!"

"I'm in the control room, Ashley, I can't go anywhere without risking being caught by Crazy..." Isabelle's face then lighted up, as if realization suddenly hit her, "But that doesn't mean someone can't go in my place!"

"What do you mean?"

"Lyn and Waluigi's trophy forms are here with me, I was supposed to store them in the room next to this one," she said in glee, "I can free Lyn and she can alert the Smashers of your situation! She's certainly a lot faster than me and would less likely get caught."

"What about Waluigi?"

"...Maybe we should free only Lyn," she said, fidgeting her paws. "For… discretion reasons."

"Yeah, okay, not gonna argue with that."

Isabelle then looked over Ashley, at where Riki still slept soundly. A warm smile spread across her face.

"Listen, I need to go now, there's no time to waste," she said, "I'd hate to wake Riki up from his sleep, so can you tell him that I said hi and that I'm grateful for him saving me from this game?"

"Sure, I'll pass on the message."

"Thank you, Ashley, you're the best!" Isabelle beamed, earning an embarrassed blush from the girl. "I'll try to update you on what's going on outside, okay? Later!"

The TV screen turned off and it took a few good seconds for Ashley to move again from where she stood. Well, that certainly was something. Ashley probably should tell the other Assist Trophies what had just happened. But what if one of them decided to tell Crazy? Even if by accident?

What about Jeff? Should he at least know, since he was now her closest ally?

"Hmm..."

Riki snored and broke her concentration.

"Hey, Riki," Ashley said, shaking him with one hand, "Isabelle said thanks for saving her from the game and that you're great."

"Heropon… always great..." Riki mumbled and let out another snore.

 _My job here is done._

* * *

 **To anyone wondering, Crazy only narrates scenes of the confession room. If he was the narrator of the entire story and knew what was going on, you bet he wouldn't let Isabelle get away with what she's about to do.**


End file.
